Fear Has an Hourglass FigureEvery word melted like hot dough in a vat of acid sauce.Fear Has an Hourglass Figure by DerelictVampire
A mouth, gaping like a dead iguana, showed rows of white teeth,
while soft smiles twitched in the upturned corners
of other people’s lips.
For one moment, a human tesseract revealed itself,
unfolding into the universe
like a missionary hearse transporting dead converts.
They were spectators…He was an apotheosis—a becoming
that swept their human faces under the rug
of an ignorance they never knew existed…
even though the dark wrinkles of placid mediocrity
cut through their skin like canyons—the landscape
of their small knowledge so obvious to anyone who looked,
yet so invisible to the walking flesh
that carried worlds within every greasy pore.
You can’t jack up what you don’t have;
every tiny peach of slim reunion
lets another chance pass by…until…
until we stop counting our age in years
and instead mark the number of times we failed to try.
I’m not ~~ years old.
Just Call Him LouI discoverJust Call Him Lou by DerelictVampire
I’m standing over the toilet trying to pee.
I seem to have forgotten how.
I squeeze the muscles around my bladder mechanically,
like a man milking his first cow
without guidance or instruction.
“I’ve seen this in the movies,” he thinks,
and tries to apply that knowledge
with the same lack of finesse
as a teenage boy
the first time he’s got a handful of teat.
The next thing I know I’m falling.
My head bumps against the bathroom wall,
and the toilet rushes up to meet me.
“How do you do, toilet?
Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“Likewise, good sir,
though I must admit,
you’ve caught me at a bad time.”
“Oh? What seems to be the trouble?”
“Not feeling up to scratch.
I think I’ve caught something.
Mine’s not the most hygienic life, you know.”
I nod sympathetically. “I can't imagine that it would be.”
He continues somewhat awkwardly,
This Isn't DyingI look out my window and whistle.This Isn't Dying by DerelictVampire
“Pretty bird, pretty bird!” My little yellow friend
is here again today, picking at the birdseed I’ve left outside.
This isn’t dying.
My cat watches intently; she’d eat him if she could.
But she’s too afraid to go out; she’s become a shut-in…like me.
This isn’t dying.
I take another blue pill, the only thing that’ll get rid
of the heebie jeebies and make me forget
that I might lose my income
if I don’t answer a questionnaire to their satisfaction.
I have to convince them to leave me alone.
Just let me be and give me money.
I won’t think about my expired driver’s license
and why I haven’t done the simple task
of driving into town to renew it.
This isn’t dying.
Old Beatles cartoons play on my computer screen.
The voices are so off it’s hilarious.
With all their resources,
why did they allow such schlocky commercialization
of their music, t
Dad Doesn't Have a Penis AnymoreDad doesn't have a penis anymore.Dad Doesn't Have a Penis Anymore by DerelictVampire
They changed him from a gigolo to a whore.
We buried his penis by the old oak tree.
Instead of standing up, he now sits down to pee.
Oh, life is strange when your dad's a tranny;
he's got two big breasts and a nice round fanny.
Faux DragonI wake to the heat and sunFaux Dragon by DerelictVampire
and all I want to do is blot out my mind.
Before the grogginess fades, before I can form a coherent thought,
before the floating dust of day puts me in a rage,
I want to be nowhere.
I want to be absent.
The sponge of my body slides out of bed, through the ether
I feel too big for the square of this wooden room.
my chest, shoulders, headswelling into space
and plopping into air like a boulder in a pond.
Already my mind is fumbling through my briefcase,
breaking little white tablets the ones that will
get me through another day alive.
Discrepancy of MotionTragedy and ecstacy.Discrepancy of Motion by DerelictVampire
Does one justify the other?
Does one make the other
worth the other?
It seems that the tiniest moments of joy
battle the ongoing disaster of human life,
and even if those moments are few and far between,
somehow they still win out.
For most of us remain,
and breathe and move until
we can move and breathe no more.
Our childhood desire to live and play
and love the simplest of things
stays with us
through all our cynicism and degradation.
In the end,
the most important motion of our lives
still flows from the moment of our birth
and the brightness of our universal gift:
I Read YouFear in the moment the words wake up.I Read You by DerelictVampire
I don't want to let myself believe.
While every true expression speaks its universe,
still, I am
This whisper isn't my breath
no matter how much my life depends on it.
But when I forget,
when the water cradles me and stops my mind,
there is joy in the acceptance
that I am the one
marking this page.
Even as my eyes drink,
I give back
and blow ripples across the surface.
Not a Wish to End...Down the Alabama highway,Not a Wish to End... by DerelictVampire
another unsatisfied night,
spending money on Rocky Horror look-alikes
Down the mountain at the Mapco gas station
I met a girl who works there.
"What are you into?" I asked.
"My life revolves around Mapco," she said. "All I do is work."
"Exciting," I said. She laughed.
I extended a hand, and she took it.
"My name's Christian."
Blankness. After an implosive night of nothing,
I can't remember the name of a girl
who I didn't pay to say it.
Squeegee in hand, blending dust and liquid
on the windows of my car,
I think I should return.
Didn't she say she gets off at eleven?
Didn't she say she goes to the bar in Argo?
I have no power to walk back inside and ask her out.
I am SAD I am weak, odd, awkward I am nothing
No one has ever said yes in all my life
The Red SeaThere's a muscle with a reason.The Red Sea by DerelictVampire
It's red, so I've seen in pictures.
Every cell inside of it contracts and livessome die,
but enough remain to keep the blood pumping.
And from this beating thinga ball of flesh
that never stopsis something we call heart,
a presence that has nothing to do
with the function of its namesake.
A pain factory,
a place where love is born,
feeding on itself when there's no one to give it to,
bleeding through the walls of an unseen prison,
self-contained, twirling in apology:
"I'm sorry" to the world for being a coward,
too weak to play the ancient game of survival,
the one that makes us breed like rabbits,
that spawns a thing called self-preservation,
that gives a power to protect our chosen mate,
the ones we'll never have...
How can I believe in evolution
when I've never grown beyond the thing
that makes perpetuation nothing more than the dream
of a species close to extinction Me...I am the animal...
No wish, no prayer, no
TreesI eat a foot-long meatball sub.Trees by DerelictVampire
Olives, parmesan, a little pepper.
I decided long ago to always make this order.
With so many things to think about,
I don’t want to stress over a sandwich.
Today, it has no flavor and no satisfaction.
I don’t like them anymore.
Wiping the corners of my mouth,
I watch as the people walk in and out of Walmart.
Together, they’re bland and uninteresting.
(No point describing them.)
Alone, each one’s unique—
a whole life story, a web of experience
sticking in intricate detail to the lives of others.
The short-haired white guy walking tall and straight
like a cop…his pretty wife with the flowing white skirt…
He doesn’t like me looking at her.
Glares at me all the way out the door.
Looks like he wants to punch me.
“Man, I had no impure thoughts about your wife.
Just looking at the people. Trying not to see a crowd.
Forest for the trees, ya know?”
I don’t eat the last meatball.
Empty BedLast night I had a dreamEmpty Bed by Morpheus1035
A dream of love
She was beautiful
With long red hair
And such pale skin
And we made love
But then, in confusion, I wake
Why is she gone?
Then I realize
It must have been a dream
And I weep
Because I so very much wanted
To wake up next to that beautiful girl with red hair
It’s just me
In this empty bed
Why I'm a Christian-AitheistWhy I'm a Christian-AithestWhy I'm a Christian-Aitheist by ccfirebloom
Before you see the light, you have to deal with the darkness. This is our darkness.
I'm sorry, but I don't think God is higher like he‘s portrayed, it’s not my business. I don't think wants to be higher than anyone. He would like to help everyone if possible, Jew, Muslim, black, white. We all want to help one another you know, human beings he made are like that. We all want to live by each other's happiness, not by misery. We don't want to hate and despise one another. In this world there is room for everyone and we can provide for everyone. God wants to be loved, and he will be loved by loving not striking fear into outsiders.
It took me a long time to realize there isn’t a difference between us and the outside world, just how everyone looks at it and treats it. There are some I know who hate outsiders for being themselves and then they do bad things and sometimes we wonder why. But people turn to violence when they run out of socially acc